Inside Out

On where you are: you become more critical if youre a stranger, you keep a distance.

To respond to the givens. Maybe you question the givens more if you approach a situation, as an alien, as a stranger. You are the alien witnessing a given. To you the strange situation sticks out from everything else, and focuses your attention.

See your body as a given. Your tool, your first toy, your container. I have always been infatuated with my body. The smell of my arms, the soft touch of my hair against my lips, the millions of times I have looked down at my hands splayed out, just to view them, admire them. But there is always the chance moment, not all the time, but say, when aside from looking at your hands, admiring them, picking out a piece of junk here or there, you notice them. You look at them and feel disconnected. They are strange. While, my sister always told me I had alien fingers, I don’t think this is the point. This feeling can come from looking at a tree or a toilet, both familiar and foreign (depending on how you feel), but again nothing as real to yourself as you.

Hygeinic ritual is a tried and true portal to disconnecting from one’s body. The focused attention of scraping, plucking, pressing and dragging sharp razors all over skin, relies on the sturdy build of the body (you usually don’t worry that if popping a pimple on your forehead will allow your brain to leak out) but also a fantastic test. The imminent, self inflicted danger can be thrilling and satisfying. Mammals soft, warm, and pulsing amidst steady violent tides that could thrash us into rocks. Most people remove themselves from the threat of the natural world only to test themselves in the bathroom, or maybe while driving.